How can you help girls learn to stop ruminating, beating themselves up and exaggerating a problem? By practicing mindfulness in front of them.
The next time a girl comes to you with a challenge, model slowing down to notice how you are feeling (“worried,” “upset,” “disappointed,” “angry” etc.) in the moment. Rather than telling *her* to calm down (a surefire way to make her go bonkers, if she’s of a certain age), model what it looks like to try and calm yourSELF down. You can say, “Let’s slow down for a second before we react. I’m noticing that I’m feeling [whatever feeling].”
In this way, you can use her challenge to your advantage — letting it be an opportunity to practice self-regulation in front of your girl, which will help give her the tools to do the same.