Guest Blog: You, Like, Need to Stop Using the Word "Like"
by Zabrinah Shepherd
I was sitting in French class when we were given an assignment: tell a fellow classmate what we did over the weekend. Immediately, I went up to the teacher and asked her how to say, “I was like” in French. My logic behind the question was solid. How could I share a story without saying, “I was like?”My teacher shook her head and said, “No, there is no direct translation for that phrase. We just don’t have that in French.” I went back to my seat, a little dazed. It dawned on me that randomly inserting the word “like” where it doesn’t belong is primarily an American habit. This was the moment when I began obsessing over the word and any others that could be classified as “clutter” or “non-essential.”I’m sure every language has its crutches. We’ve all used those words and phrases (OMG, I’m like, you know, totally, etc.) which act as buffers, replacing the silence that occurs when you don‘t know what to say next.
Unfortunately these idioms don’t come with an on/off switch. Use them enough, and they become habits. They can reinforce stereotypes, especially the ones that plague young girls.
It’s easy to identify when you have a “like” problem. Sign #1: People point it out. Parents, friends, and teachers all feel obligated to let you know that you say “like” too much. Sign #2: When you try to avoid the word, your sentences become jumbled. You find yourself pausing for long periods of time, in order to think of “like” substitutes.Just three months ago, I realized how hard it was to eliminate certain words from my vocabulary. My best friend and I decided to stop using the phrases that could potentially limit our authority. We wanted to make it easier for people to take us seriously.
I called my friend and we attempted to talk without the word “like.” We sounded like robots. Our speech was stilted and very hard to understand. We laughed at how difficult it was, but beneath the laughter was an underlying tone of panic. We had reached the point where saying “like” was a habit--a very stubborn one, at that.
Maybe you’ve heard the saying, “Dress for the job you want--not the one you have.” When you’re in junior high or high school, getting a job may not be your primary focus in life. Yet we should be aware of how we carry ourselves in all aspects. Speech is one of them. I think it’s important for girls--no matter the age--to speak with confidence. Speak so that you can be heard.Have ever found yourself counting how many times someone said “like” or “you know” during an interview? Each time that happens, we undermine what the person is actually saying. We focus on his/her word usage, rather than their thoughts and ideas. Why? Because those concepts aren’t being conveyed in a clear manner.I’ve heard that it takes 21 days to break a habit. If you do want to make changes in the way you speak, give yourself an appropriate amount of time to break the old habit and instill a newer, better one. There is a middle ground. I’m not saying that you have to get rid of the word completely. But it always helps to use it in a way that’s grammatically correct.At the end of the day, I’m just another girl who wants to be heard. If it’s easy for others to understand me without all the “likes” and “you knows,” then I’m willing to make those minor sacrifices.Zabrinah Shepherd writes a blog about love, life, and guys. She began blogging about relationships in 2010 and hasn't stopped since.