Enough as She Is
A deeply urgent book that gives adults the tools to help girls reject “supergirl” pressure, overcome a toxic stress culture, and become resilient adults with healthy, happy, and fulfilling lives.
For many girls today, the drive to achieve is fueled by brutal self-criticism and an acute fear of failure. Though young women have never been more “successful”–outpacing boys in GPAs and college enrollment–they have also never struggled more. On the surface, girls may seem exceptional, but in reality, they are anxious and overwhelmed, feeling that, no how hard they try, they will never be smart enough, successful enough, pretty enough, thin enough, popular enough, or sexy enough.
Rachel has been researching young women for two decades, and her research plainly shows that girl competence does not equal girl confidence—nor does it equal happiness, resilience, or self-worth. Backed by vivid case studies, Rachel warns that we have raised a generation of young woman so focused on achieving that they avoid healthy risks, overthink setbacks, and suffer from imposter syndrome, believing they are frauds. As they spend more time projecting an image of effortless perfection on social media, these girls are prone to withdraw from the essential relationships that offer solace and support and bolster self-esteem.
Deeply empathetic and meticulously researched, Enough As She Is offers a clear understanding of this devastating problem and provides practical parenting advice—including teaching girls self-compassion as an alternative to self-criticism, how to manage overthinking, resist the constant urge to compare themselves to peers, take healthy risks, navigate toxic elements of social media, prioritize self-care, and seek support when they need it. Enough as She Is sounds an alarm to parents and educators, arguing that young women can do more than survive adolescence. They can thrive. Enough As She Is shows us how.
Praise for Enough As She Is
Rachel Simmons is the expert on helping girls become leaders. In a world that too often tells our girls to be quiet, not assertive; deferential, not opinionated; meek, not bold; and insecure, not confident, Rachel says otherwise – and she has the advice and research to back it up. This book is a must read for girls who want to lead – and for the parents, teachers, and coaches who want to help them get there.
"A brilliant and passionate call to action that reveals how girls and young women are suffering in our toxic culture of constant comparison and competition. This is the book parents need to change girls’ lives and guide them to truly become happy, healthy, and powerful adults."
Is it wrong that I wanted to underline every single word in this book? Simmons brilliantly crystallizes contemporary girls’ dilemma: the way old expectations and new imperatives collide; how a narrow, virtually unattainable vision of “success” comes at the expense of self-worth and well-being. Enough As She is a must-read, not only for its diagnosis of the issues but for its insightful, useful strategies on how to address them."
"Enough As She Is may save millions of women from the idea that 'having it all' means 'doing it all.' Women as well as men have the right to make choices that suit us uniquely, yet girls and women are more subject to external standards that we had nothing to do with creating. Rachel Simmons has given us the next step in our peaceful revolution: not only changing women to fit the world, but changing the world to fit women."
"This book is a rare find for any parent or mentor of a girl child. It exposes the abject harm of today’s perfect-at-any-price childhood, and illustrates how a girl’s anxious, busy, self-deprecating performance strategy is entirely normal yet further harm-inducing. Packed with conversational specifics you can deploy with the teen girls in your life, this book is your chance to be (who/whom) she needs you to be. Buy it. Read it. Live it. Help the girl you love realize the most important of all certainties: that she truly is enough as she is."