So I’ve liked this boy for a long time, and he’s finally come around. When we’re together, he makes me really happy, but everything seems to be on his terms. Is there a way to change things without him losing interest? HELP ME BLAINE!
B
Hey B,
Have you ever heard the Leonard Cohen song, Hallelujah? Well okay, if you haven’t, proceed with caution. Because it is brutal. And lovely. And perfect.
I can never get out of my head the part where he sings, “Love is not a victory march,” because I believe that the true core of love is equality and safety. How secure can you possibly feel if you’re constantly running to this guy or he’s running away? Last time I checked, love or like or whatever, any kind of anything, should look nothing like a game of tag.
If you keep letting him drag you around, you’re going to end up with some serious skid marks that are going to be difficult to heal. And if you give the entirety of your heart to him, trying to change him, thinking there’s something you can do to make him respond, your heart is going to take a serious beating as well.
I know I don’t know you, but I do know for a fact that no one deserves that kind of treatment. You should always be enough. And if you, 100% of you, is not, then he’s not enough for you. I promise. No one and nothing is worth losing the one thing that you will always have, and that’s yourself. I know it’s hard right now, but save yourself the long term hurt, and back off. If he comes to you, give him a chance if you feel ready. But know that if something doesn’t feel right or it feels like he’s in control, it’s truly time to step away and give yourself a break.