Rachel Simmons » Girl Tips

GirlTip #50: The Importance of Naming Your Fears

Rachel Simmons — Wed, 11 Aug 2010 00:22:57 +0000

When you’re feeling anxious about doing something, be it a phone call or big request or tough conversation, ask yourself what’s the worst that can happen? Can you bear it? Much of the time, you can. We can face our fears when we know them clearly — & take the leaps that bring us to amazing new places.

GirlTip #49: Listen to Your Emotions

Rachel Simmons — Fri, 18 Jun 2010 00:17:00 +0000

Painful emotions don’t only mean life is hard. They’re a sign from within that it may be time to make a choice. Sadness & anger are opportunities for change: in relationships, work, school and spirit. Listen to the feelings: what choices are they asking you to make?

GirlTip #48: Why We Should Avoid Personalizing a Mistake

Rachel Simmons — Thu, 03 Jun 2010 02:46:48 +0000

It’s hard not to feel like you’ve let someone down when you make a mistake. Try not to confuse a comment about your performance as a statement about your relationship with the person. Otherwise, we get distracted by the question of whether or not we’re likable – instead of how we can improve.

GirlTip #47: Technology is Not a Substitute for Friendship

Rachel Simmons — Tue, 18 May 2010 13:30:38 +0000

If you text more than talk, your relationships can become like fun house mirrors: you can see the person, but the image is distorted and unreliable. Remember: technology is supposed to enhance relationships, but it’s not a substitute for them.

GirlTip #46: The Value of Saying “No”

Rachel Simmons — Sat, 08 May 2010 16:35:57 +0000

Saying no can bring our worst demons out. What if they never ask again? What if they walk away? Consider this: if someone really wants you (in work & in life), they’ll find a way. If they’re just not that into you, you’re better off waiting for the right match who is.

GirlTip #45: Conflict Involves Both of You

Rachel Simmons — Tue, 20 Apr 2010 02:15:00 +0000

When we’re in a conflict, blaming ourselves offers a sense of control. If I’m wrong, I can own it & fix it, or ruminate about how. Sitting with the complex reality – that conflict is about both of us –may make us feel helpless, but it’s a healthier, self-affirming perspective. It’s NOT all your fault. It rarely is.

GirlTip #44: When a Friend Stops Calling It’s Not Always Personal

Rachel Simmons — Wed, 31 Mar 2010 14:04:50 +0000

When a friend’s life changes and your phone stops ringing, it can be painful. Maybe you’re the type of person who always stays in touch, no matter what. Annoying Truth: not everyone is like you. Some people can’t manage stress & relationships. Keep in mind that while this may be painful, it’s rarely personal.

GirlTip #43: Are You in an Unhealthy Friendship?

Rachel Simmons — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 02:27:33 +0000

Do you have a friend who makes you feel crazy by denying your problems? A good friend may not agree with your version of events, but she should respect them. Hint: you’re not crazy. But you may be in an unhealthy friendship.

GirlTip #42: Don’t Lose Yourself in Extremes

Rachel Simmons — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 14:51:42 +0000

Do you have a friend who can make you feel like you’re the most important person in the world — but you’re also terrified to make her angry? Be careful. We lose ourselves in extremes: you might go too far to stay in her spotlight, or make yourself smaller to avoid leaving it.

GirlTip #41: How Should You Break Up With a Friend?

Rachel Simmons — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 15:03:54 +0000

There’s no easy way to break up with a friend. Think about how you’d want to be treated if you were in your friend’s place. Mystery is painful, confusing & lasting. Honesty hurts now, but it’s clear, quick & undeniable. It sets the person free to find someone new.