Ask Rachel: I’m Losing My Best Friend
When we started school this year, my best friend, Jenny, started hanging out with Dina, the school snob. Within a week, she went from my best friend to hating even the thought of me. I tried talking to her about it, but she just screams at me. On the flip side, when Dina isn’t around, she’s back to the fun-loving dork that I was friends with. Dina isn’t popular (just annoying; no one likes her because she whines too much), but Jenny seems to want to be just like her. Should I stop being friends with her? I just don’t know how to get through to her. Thanks. –Alyshia
I hate to be the one to tell you this, but you’ve got a BFF homewrecker on your hands. Remember Brad and Jen when they were married? And then Brad made Mr. and Mrs. Smith, and then there was Angelina, and then he wasn’t married anymore. See where I’m going with this? Dina is your Angelina Jolie. You are Jen. Jenny is Brad.
Did it happen because Jennifer Aniston wasn’t pretty, or smart, or nice enough? I’m thinking not. Brad got smitten, and like a hypnotized cartoon character with swirly candy cane stripes coming out of his eyes, all he could see was Angie. Sounds like Jenny’s got the swirly eyes, too.
Imagine what would have happened if, whenever Angie was on location, Brad started being all nice to Jen. Do you think she would put up with that? Not so much. And neither should you. Friendship is not a part-time job. Babysitting, sure. But not relationships.
Respect yourself: let Jenny run off into the sunset with Dina. You’ve got to feel the breakup pain for a while – eat chocolate, listen to Tori Amos, write bad poetry – and then, when you’re ready, get back out there and try to meet a new friend. In a future post, I’ll talk more about how.