Thanks for the tips! This happens all the time to me and my friend and i have never really known what to do or say, so thanks.
Thank you so much Rachel. Keep the tips coming for elementary, I might be getting a guidance position this upcoming year for K-6 and would love to create some lessons around your research. Especially the “what to say” part. Thanks for helping our girls become more assertive and self-confident.
I have a question. My friend, Girl, has to keep her phone on her allthe time and has to check in with her mom constintly, and I understand that. But I`ll be talking to Girl and her phoone`ll gooff, and it`s her mom, and it`s like she compleatly forgets about me. What do I do? Something else I`ve been wondering about is how to stop Girl from (not in a mean spirited way) making fun of my lame cell phone? Please Help.
P.S. -I`m reading Odd Girl Speaks Out, it is amazing. I wanna thank you for giving victims, like me, a voice. Another question, how do I make people stop making fun off my speech (I have trouble saying some letters)? Thanks again for Writing your books, can`t wait to read the rest, please keep writing. -Kat
Thank you for this helpful and realistic post. The best part is the actual verbiage you offer that our girls can use to confront their TWHO friend. More BFF posts!
Im a 20 year old young woman, and I find this lesson helpful too! I think that person to person relationships are a huge chllenge for me and most in my generation, because technology IS such a huge part of our culture now, and were not really brought up with any container for handling it in school or elsewhere. I really appreciate this post, and am sharing it with my younger sister (17). Thank you sincerely for all the work you’re doing in women’s empowerment as it is so necessary in our often disjointed and backwards society.
I used to do this… but then my friend got pissed off at me so I stopped.
This is wonderful. I am sending this link to our school guidance people, high school and middle school, so far..lol
My daughter’s friend was spending an over night with my daughter last year. She was texting all night long. Then after breakfast she picked up the phone where she left off. My daughter voiced her concerns to me about her feelings being hurt. We both asked her to stop. She refused. I felt that she was being terribly rude, so I took her home. Their relationship changed after that. I told her father why I brought her home earlier than planned. He shrugged it off. That is the response I was expecting, but I can’t tell him how to raise his children, either. So, some of this is the parents fault. Thanks, for all your research. This is has been very helpful.
While we are on the topic of texting, I’m appalled by the number of middle school kids who sit in synagogues, texting throughout their friends’ bar and bat mitzvah services. I think we need a national discussion common courtesy and good manners. Just because the technology is available 24/7, we don’t need to use it 24/7. We need to establish commonly understood text-free zones: cars (for obvious safety reasons), dinner tables, theatres (my niece learned that one the hard way; after texting her boyfriend through an entire performance of Cyrano de Bergerac one summer, the man behind her chewed her out very loudly), houses of worship, when in conversation or just hanging out with friends
PLEASE add more BFF 2.0 posts! I’m an elementary school technology teacher. I’d love to see more video entries, especially geared toward younger users (6th and under). Thanks for such a wonderful site.
Thank you, thank you, thank you. I am the mom of a 13-year old, I completely agree with you, and have told my daughter the same thing over and over. The person in front of you is always the most important one, unless there is an emergency of some kind. Now, Rachel, could you please broadcast this message to the adults as well? I’m tired of getting dirty looks from cell-phone user who are distressed because I am having a conversation with the live people around me when they are trying to have an intimate conversation at some place like the grocery store or in a public elevator. Perhaps teenagers are picking up this habit from the poor habits of the adults they see around them.
Hi Laura, I totally agree that adults need to clean up our acts as well. A lot of girls are doing this because they see their parents doing it – at the dinner table, in the car, etc. I know I am guilty myself. Thanks for your comment!
I agree totally. My friends lately have been texting while we are hanging out and i think it has become a unnecessary fad among girls. Plus I think it is the relationships that aren’t digital that really matter.
I completely agree with you and I have told my kids the very same thing. Thanks for saying it so well.
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Rachel gives dynamic workshops and engaging presentations to young women, parents and educators across the country.
The way you talk to your child about her day matters just as much as her answer.
Read Rachel’s latest article in Slate, where she tells her personal story about parenting a child with a developmental delay.