GirlTip #2: Building Emotional Intelligence
Emotions are a powerful channel to the authentic self, and you can increase a girl’s emotional vocabulary by using more emotion words in front of her. If you’re anxious, excited, worried, or happy, say so. Try to avoid saying “I’m fine” and “good” to describe how you’re feeling, and ask her to do the same.
I’m currently reading your book, Odd Girl Speaks Out. As you wrote about friends who say they are/are not going to do something and then exclude someone, it reminded me of my freshman year in high school – something I haven’t thought about in a very long time. I didn’t know what to wear on my first day of high school, so I called one of the nicer girls in my class to ask. She said all the girls were wearing a nice shirt and blue jeans. Now, my family lived outside the city limits, so going home to change was not an option. I get to school the next day and all but one girl in the freshman class is wearing a dress. I’m in my blue jeans and nice shirt, the “new” girl is in dress pants and a nice shirt, and every other girl is in a dress. Did anyone bother to call me to let me know? No. Did I feel humiliated and left out? Yes. In my eyes, was the “nice” girl less nice? Yes. This is something that has shaped the way I view other girls – or, in my case, women. I don’t think most women are nice. I double check with others when one woman tells me to do something. And I don’t trust most women not to stab me in the back while they smile at my face.