The Mommy Vortex: Does the Breastfeeding Doll Sexualize Girls?
by Rosemarie Coppola-Baldwin
During the summer of 2011, I was searching various toy store websites to find a birthday gift for a seven year old girl. I came across an advertisement for the Breastfeeding Baby doll, which teaches young girls how to breastfeed their dolls by having them simulate nursing using a t-shirt equipped with sensors. Girls put on the t-shirt, and when they place the Breast Feeding Baby to their breast, the doll mimics a suckling sound. At the time, the doll was not yet available in America.
But having breastfed both of my children, I was intrigued by this new toy. I did a quick Internet search, and I stumbled across some articles and editorials that were increasingly critical of the doll. One author went so far as to accuse the toy makers of “sexualizing” toddlers; the author feared that pedophiles would watch young girls use this toy in the park.
That extreme image creeped me out, too. But I wasn’t (and am not) opposed to this doll. What I am opposed to is the accusation that teaching girls how to breastfeed somehow “sexualizes” them too early. Isn’t giving young girls – toddlers even – a positive, natural reason for the existence of their breasts an important tool in raising them with strong, healthy body images?
We, as a society, are not comfortable with breastfeeding. We seem to have no problem with scantily clad women modeling barely-there lingerie on super-sized billboards, but we are suddenly squirming in our seats when a woman offers her breast to her baby.
I remember when I was in a large suburban shopping mall, I asked if there was a place I could nurse my infant son in private, as although I had the legal right to nurse publicly, I knew it would make others uncomfortable. I was told to nurse him in the bathroom. After asking the sales associate if she, herself, would ever eat in the bathroom, I was directed to a private room.
My experience was a hard lesson in how our society truly feels about our breasts: it’s fine to expose them as sexual objects, but it’s not okay to use them for their intended, natural purpose. And there is something unnatural about that.
As the mother of a little girl, I want her to understand her body, not be embarrassed by it. Having her learn the purpose of her breasts will give her confidence and perspective. What three year old could ever understand that breasts represent something sexual? These little girls understand feeding their dolls with bottles, nourishing them with milk. Why should they not be taught this most basic, natural and oldest form of feeding babies?
I think if we don’t share this toy with our girls, we are teaching them that their breasts are primarily sexual objects, or at the very worst, something to be embarrassed about. We need, as a society, to teach our girls what their bodies are made for so that they grow up with confidence in themselves, and so that society can’t condition them to believe their breasts are solely intended for a sexual purpose. These girls are worth so much more than that.
Our young girls are worth so much more than that.
Rosemarie Coppola-Baldwin is a practicing attorney and a dedicated mother of a two children. A Georgetown University graduate, Rosemarie has practiced law at a major New York City law firm and for the City of New York. Rosemarie has been a guest lecturer on women’s civil rights and related legal issues at St. John’s University (New York), and offers pro bono legal services to a variety of entities.
I don’t think a child needs this specific doll to do this, as children naturally mimic what they see, but I agree that society has a huge hang-up about it. Every time I nurse my daughter (which I do in the privacy of our vehicle) I am concerned that someone who notices us there in the front seat will think I am driving with her in my arms, rather than realizing she’s up there for a feed in a parking lot in a completely stopped/shut off vehicle.
I also have small concerns that someone may find it offensive even though it is my own vehicle and we’ll end up on the news via store cameras. It is stupid and aggravating to have these silly fears. I’m comfortable with my older child feeding her babies. I just wish the rest of the world were as comfortable with me as I am with her.
My 3 1/2 year old daughter breastfeeds her baby EVERY time I breastfeed her brother. She will talk openly about using her breasts to feed her baby. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I am glad that she knows this to be the norm. A just a note, she decided to do this with her baby all on her own.
breast fed my daughter for a year, exclusively for the first few months, she never took a bottle nor would she accept a pacifier. I fed her in public in restaurants discretely and no one complained. I used a sling and a blanket over my shoulder to keep our connection private even in public. I’ve seen other women throw open their shirts and try to feed in public exposing themselves and their child. Of course our society is odd about breasts..how can it not be with plastic surgery augmenting them beyond normal proportions, propping them up, show them everywhere in all their plastic “perfection” I’m in Europe this week. I love being here because imperfect women are considered very beautiful. I get flirted with everywhere…simple, sweet flirtation, not aggressive expectations if I respond. it’s just how life is here…men and women can enjoy that “play” every american woman needs to come to europe and feel beautiful…in the US it’s all about how well you conform to the “perfect” barbie doll version of beauty. sadly.
My daughter was regularly “breastfeeding” her doll without any input from me. I didn’t think twice about it. She is 12, still sleeps with her doll, & plans to become a pediatrician.
Is this what girls’ bodies are made for? One could hope that they would see many other possibilities in life besides motherhood. Given the cultural context that surrounds them, I’d worry as much about encouraging girls to focus on motherhood as I would about ‘sexualising’ them (which I don’t think this does).
Yes, I do agree that girls can do more and different things than be moms, and this is just one toy of many our girls can play with to stimulate their imaginations. I think giving them different toy options is the key to grounded, well-balanced kids.
I’d say absolutely yes, this is the natural function of our bodies. The usage of our bodies is up to us, and having breasts doesn’t demand that you have children, but it isn’t at all offensive or illogical to realize that yes, we develope them because they serve a purpose. If you believe at all in evolution you believe that by and large nearly every body part we have serves a purpose. We do not find the organic purpose of any other body part threatening, neither should we find the designed purpose of the breast as a provider of nourishment. Certainly one can agree that girls today have many options without trying to negate the design and potential of her breasts.
I think it is perfectly fine for women to be comfortable knowing what all potential her breasts hold instead of feeling like it must be denied in order to be remotely considered a modern woman. One can have a career or be a mother, but one does not need to ‘take sides’ in order to be a woman because we are powerful and strong.
We can have a career AND be a mother. Nobody supporting motherhood, in so doing, is denying the female her right as a contributing member of society. Feminism does not need to obliterate motherhood to be powerful; indeed, it is most powerful when it embraces BOTH potentials in a woman – career and family.
Yes, I have breasts! They are larege and lovely! They are powerful AND functional. They nourish my children, they bring my husband comfort and satisfaction. They bring ME satisfaction. These breasts do not define me, and I do not need to be ashamed of their lactation in order to stand with other women who choose not to use their breasts in the same way.
I get a little bothered when I read comments that seem to demean the natural mothering tendencies little girls have as simply a byproduct of gender-forceful parents in a gender compliant dominated society. My first daughter squealed, reached for, and adored baby dolls from the moment she first laid eyes on one in a toy aisle. We go through all of the aisles, not just the ‘pink’ ones. Even at six months old she had no reaction to cars, houses, or other ‘boy’ objects. Babies and mothering have appealed to her from the start. In fact, it was on a trip through the toy aisle and seeing her reaction that we realized she was old enough to play with toys beyond rattles. She literally chose her first toys.
My second daughter has little to no interest in dolls, but is massively interested in knocking over blocks, watching zooming cars, and especially has a passion for brown dogs. At only six months her interests are already her own. Can you say that we forced one daughter to be girly and have progressively allowed the other to be ‘non-traditional’? Hardly.
Allow children their interests, and don’t “worry about encouraging girls to focus on motherhood” with the little girls who organically want to be mommies. If you want females to be fulfilled in whatever most appeals to them, then you must willingly accept that some are mothers by nature and that is OKAY and certainly not damaging to the female role by and large.
Just my two cents, and written lightheartedly. I am not trying to start something and won’t be following up, but contributing my thoughts on the matter respectfully.
I don’t think the answer to one extreme is to swing the pendulum to the opposite extreme. May the world be comfortable for all.
My daughter, now in her 30s, used breastfeed her doll while I breastfeed her brother, no batteries or sensors needed.
However I do approve of anything that encourages women and girls to see breast feeding as the norm.
I, too, (somewhat fondly) remember a time when toys were more playthings than computerized gadgets! This toy is certainly a sign of our high-tech times.
I’m not a fan of those dolls. Not because they’re “sexualizing” my young children, but because of all the equipment it comes with. How long do you think a 4-year-old girl is going to play with this? Five minutes, before she’s ready to change its diaper, brush its teeth, put it to bed, turn it into a superhero, or have it go for a swim in the bathtub? (Or is that just my kids?) One of the advantages of breastfeeding is that it doesn’t take any equipment other than what we carry with us naturally.
No, it doesn’t sexualize kids. But it DOES stifle their imagination.
I see your point, and arguably, not every child would want or even enjoy this toy. I think, like all decisions for our families, we have to make them on an individualized basis. At the end of the day, I think it’s progress in terms of breastfeeding and healthy body image to even have it out there as an option.