Lilly’s Final Blog: A Letter to my Younger Self
With 20 days left before she starts college, Lilly bids farewell to blogging, thanks her readers and includes her favorite blogs from the last year.
Dear Thirteen Year Old Lilly,
Lilly, I want you to very carefully read what I’m about to write. This sentence is the one thing you need to hear, the one thing you need to believe. Life will get better.
I know right now you’re sad. You’ve just begun speaking your mind at school, saying no to harassment, bullying, and sexism. Teachers are oblivious to the group of boys systematically torturing you with their lewd comments and merciless teasing of your appearance. Female friends are reluctant to become involved. Brothers are torn between their loyalty to their sister and friends. No wonder you’re getting used to being alone.
You won’t believe me, but the things you’re doing now — the things that make life rough — will be the very things that turn this sinking ship around. Following in the fearless footsteps of Mom, you’ll discover feminism. And, let me tell you, all that time you’ve spent identifying sexism, exercising your voice and reading alone to the dismay and resistance of others will finally be grounded in a community.
Women like the ridiculously kind and friendly Courtney Martin will be generous with their time and wisdom. The fabulous Jess Weiner and other successful writers will offer you chances to blog for them. You will get to know other young activists like Ashley Cole.
And, you lucky girl, you’ll meet Rachel Simmons, who will welcome you into her life. Trust me, we could not have asked for a better mentor and friend; the world would be a much better place if every girl had a Rachel supporting them unconditionally while expecting 110 percent. The connections you will make are proof positive that feminists are just about the coolest people. Being generous, kind and whip-smart is just how they roll.
Before you jump for joy, I have to kill your buzz for one second. Just because you’re a feminist now does not mean you will confront less inequity. In fact, you are going to be even more aware of disappointing celebrities, discrimination and inadequate conversations. But now you have an outlet, a heard voice. The chance to blog has been a gift that has truly kept giving.
Sundays are days of rest for Christians, and Friday night Shabbats are time for Jewish families like mine to rest. Well, for me sitting down to write my weekly blog is similarly sacred. It is a time for me to reflect upon my week and explore the topics I find most meaningful. I think about my amazing readers and the commenters who continue to praise and challenge me. Taking a deep breath before I submit what I have just written, I try not to be afraid of how my words will be received. More than ever I feel this fear now.
Like I’ve said before, and as you know all too well, transitions are hard for us. I can’t believe I am writing my last blog. I wish I had some final words of wisdom to end with. And instead I’m looking back to you, my thirteen year old self, a girl I barely recognize. I am so grateful to not recognize you and not just because you’re still letting Mom cut your bangs. Never mind experiencing normal middle school torture, you’re also so very lost. You’ve always been told you’re supposed to speak your mind. But the proponents of this advice seem to disappear just when you need them most.
I am not you. I’ve been found. Rachel found me. Readers found me. The friends, boyfriend and family who religiously read my blog found me. So here I am, firmly planted on the map. No longer lost, I’m on a path traveled by many feminists before me. I am absolutely terrified to take the next step.
And perhaps that’s why I’m writing to you now. Looking back, I can see that the steps I’ve taken on this yellow brick road are what give me the confidence to assure you that life will get better. With that, Lilly, I’ll remind you to thank your readers even though your gratitude for them will be impossible to convey. So I move on to college knowing while I may not continue blogging, I will continue on this road. Because I know it’s leading to even bigger and better things.
With love and gratefulness,
Lilly
Lilly’s Favorite Blogs Mentioned in this Post
On Solitude: A Girl Alone is Not Lonely
What My Mom is Teaching Me About Breaking the Curse of the Good Girl
Q & A with Award-Winning Blogger, Author & Shero Courtney Martin
Q & A with High School Activist Fighting to Stop Use of “That’s So Gay”
Wanted: New Role Models for Teen Girls
Lilly’s First Rant: What I Wear is None of Your Business
Stop Preparing Women to be Victims and Hold Men Responsible for Violence
Thank you so much!!
Dear Lilly,
What a brilliant last blog. You face a major transition but it definitely won’t be anything like middle school — you are ready for anything. One rule: no eating in the bathroom (or, as I did in middle school, in the gym locker room).
I know you say you are done with blogging, but please consider a “Dear Freshman Lilly” blog when you are a rising sophomore. I’d love to read, in that framework, how much you’ve changed in your first year of college.
Lots of love and admiration,
Lucy
I want to be like you when I grow up Lily!
You are quite a super powered woman and I look forward to your impact on the world!
You always have an open door to write for my site anytime and know your words have given many of us hope, inspiration, and solace this past year!!
Go forth and create good memories!
XO
Jess
Lily,
I too have enjoyed your blogs immensely over the last year or so. As I imagine you’ve been told so many times, you are wise beyond your years. I have a hard time believing this will be your “last blog”, because anyone with this much to say who is this good at saying it will need to find a platform for their thoughts sooner or later. But best of luck in this new adventure. There really is no time like college and I know you’ll savor every challenge and triumph!
Best,
Emily
Hi, Lily:
Many thanks for your consistent and thoughtful posts. I work at a boarding school with high school girls, and your blog entries were a source of discussion for our small group. If you haven’t already, please consider starting your own blog. Your voice is needed in our world.
Best wishes as you begin your first year of college.
With appreciation, S
Dear Lily,
You are amazing. It has been a pleasure reading your blog posts–they have inspired and moved me as a woman, a teacher, a former teenager, and a feminist. We’ve all been lucky to have your voice out here.
Best of luck to you at college–I can only imagine how much fun you are going to have, the bright people you will meet and fall in love with, the ones who will fall in love with you, the ideas and books and moments and joy and all of it. Certainly you’ll be up to great things.
With love,
Nishta