GirlTip #48: Why We Should Avoid Personalizing a Mistake
It’s hard not to feel like you’ve let someone down when you make a mistake. Try not to confuse a comment about your performance as a statement about your relationship with the person. Otherwise, we get distracted by the question of whether or not we’re likable – instead of how we can improve.
To be honest, I still struggle with this. My first impulse is to take it personally, even after of years working within feminist groups and raising my kids. Once I calm down, I can depersonalize comments and see what is to be learned. The sting never quite goes away though.
The sting will never go away if you for even a moment blame yourself. But not blameing yourself for even a moment is practically impossible, if you find out how let me know. but i have learned to stop the personalization as soon as i feel it wich has taken a long time to learn and i have not totally mastered it and doubt i ever will. Even if i am only a teen, i believe i am mature well beyond my years.
I understand what you mean, but i never actually blame myself. Its others getting inside your head, and to be honest, i dont think that everyone knows how thier own mind works let alone how to stop people from getting to them