Rachel Simmons

Kids are urged to try new foods, to not refuse the new vegetable before tasting it. Don’t knock it ‘til you’ve tried it, try something new: girls seem to forget these mantras during adolescence.

One of the major tenets of the Curse of the Good Girl is the belief that Good Girls never (as in never ever) looks stupid. A Good Girl is not supposed to look foolish or inept. This rule makes learning new things difficult.

Teenage girls like me don’t step outside of their comfort zone, their area of expertise, the world they excel in because the pressure to be excellent is so intense. According to overachieving, college-bound, super pretty/popular/smart, there is no room for error. We feel as though we must be naturally and immediately perfect at all that we do.

I am currently writing to you from sunny (and by sunny, I mean sweltering) Miami. I am here with three of my best friends learning to surf. Besides figuring out how ride a wave, learning how to surf has taught me a valuable lesson.

My friends and I decided to come to Miami to celebrate completing high school classes. We are not particularly athletic girls but surfing is something we’ve always wanted to do. Is there anything cooler than a teenage girl who knows how to surf? We didn’t think so either.

For three days now, I’ve been getting my butt kicked over and over again. I have bruises, blisters and sunburns. Muscles I didn’t even know existed are aching like nobody’s business. My friends have taken to surfing much more naturally than I have. As they glide towards shore, cool as cucumbers, I look more like a terrified six year old. I consistently fall backwards and spend a lot of time swimming after my board. But I am having a blast.

And herein lies the lesson. I know practice makes perfect, but I hate feeling inadequate, hate being the rookie so I don’t try new things. I’m not alone in wanting to stick with what I know how to do. I often see my female peers pass up fun opportunities because it would mean venturing out of the realm of tasks they have mastered. Taking surfing lessons is the most radically imperfect thing I have done in a long time.

I wish I could honestly tell you I don’t feel a little embarrassed and a little frustrated with my inability to surf like pro. I know what I’m good at and I usually stick to doing those things. Surfing is completely unlike anything I’ve ever done before. It’s not easy. I sort of look like an idiot doing it but that is a learning experience in itself. Unless teenage girls are willing to look goofy and be bad at something, they will only know how to do those few activities they know they can do.

Where will we find tomorrow’s leaders if young women are afraid to look silly learning new things? There’s only one way to master a new skill, giving it a try. Without being willing to get banged around, wipe out and look like a fool, I wouldn’t have discovered the surfer within.  Okay, I’m not actually good at surfing. But hey, hypothetically, surfing could have been my hidden talent. I’m glad I gave it a shot. And I have the bruised elbows and ego to prove it.

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