Dear Rachel: I’m Going to Be the New Girl at School…and I’m Freaking Out!
Hey Rachel,
So I am moving…..out of town….out of state, so to a new school. I don’t know what to do because I have NEVER been the new girl, ever. It’s all going to be new and I don’t know what to expect or anything. Any advice?
-Kourtney 16
Hey Kourtney,
Being the New Girl is always tough. You have no idea what you’re walking into, and it can feel super lonely at the beginning. The anticipation alone is enough to give most of us ulcers.
Here are my tips for being the new girl:
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- Meet some people online before you start. DO NOT get personal with them right off the bat. I am really serious about this: Even if you feel like you’ve met your BFFFFFFFFFFFFFF, set boundaries. No big secret revelations…yet. There will be plenty of time for the big love-in when you see each other.
- Make a list of some ways you can meet people. Do it before school starts. That might include sitting down at a crowded lunch table, speaking to someone you don’t know in class or the hall, or joining a particular team or club. Get out of your comfort zone as much as you can and take a few risks. That’s where the payoff lives: in those leaps of faith.
- Commit to trying one thing from your list every day. Stick with it and don’t punish yourself if you miss a day here and there. Some days, you may just need to be a hermit.
- Do not come on too strong. Don’t dominate conversations in a group, or call or text someone too much. Play it cool. Don’t look desperate.
- Proceed with caution. When you’re the new girl, you’re vulnerable. You might even feel a little desperate to make a friend. Do not let your vulnerability cause you to throw yourself at any new friendships. That means not telling someone every last secret about yourself in the first week you know him or her.
- Wait before you date. Or hook up. Or whatever is you’re going to do romantically. Get a sense of the landscape. Start flirting with some random guy who happens to be the lust object of some nasty female at your school, and congratulations, you’ve just won a membership to hell.
- Find stuff you can do on your own that makes you happy. You might be spending some quality time with that famous trio, “me, myself and I,” in the beginning. No shame in that game. Scheme up some fabulous activities for yourself, whether it’s getting a pedicure, reading a favorite book or getting into a new TV series.
One more thing. Don’t forget that when you’re the new girl, all the “old” girls (and guys) – meaning the ones who have been languishing at your new school for ages – are excited for fresh blood. Some of them are just curious, but others are hopeful that you might be a new friend. That’s not to say girls aren’t occasionally evil to newcomers, but hopefully my advice will get you around that.
Before you know it, you’re going to be surrounded by new friends. Just do it with caution and class, and you will rock it. Let me know how it goes!!
I’m going to be a new girl at a private school. I am freaked out of my mind. Can you please give me some advice? uhhhh!
I’m going to move on the middle of the school year and that means I will be changing schools and I don’t know what to do… I’m scard that people will not like me and make fun of me and that they will not include me in things… What should I do I really never transfer to a new school well I did once but I knew people there and I will not know anyone at the new school???
Ok, so I’m going to a new school soon, I’ve been the new girl once, but I was like 7, so that dosent help .. People just got over teasing me about my ranga hair.& I’m afraid that my new school will judge me based on how I look. It’s a school full of mean People too.:$ I just need to know how to be talkative , & then I’ll be aight, help ?
+ I’m nice
Hey i’m kat and i was a new girl once, so i’ve bacicaly been there and did a bit of that. so i know what it’s like, you feel alone and scared and want your old friends back, trust me i know.
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if you miss your old friends something i would do is write some fiction stories basing charectors of them and have inside jokes in there so you can remember the good times.a good idea to keep in mind is to NEVER AND I MEAN NEVER LIE ABOUT YOURSELF. cause when the truth comesout it’ll be bad but if your unconfitable with a questiion just say something like “that’s a little personal, i’d wanna know you better before i tell you that”
this next part might not sound like good advise but it really is. don’t go being your whole self right away. by that i mean is warm yourself up to the people, it’ll be good for you and them. it’s like a new pair of shoes, you don’t by them and right away wear them all the time, you wear them every few days.give little bits of info away at a time. it’s also kinda of like friend dateing (no i you don’t mean like dating a friend) because in dating you don’t drop a big bomb of crazy on a guy, slowly give little bits of your crazy, (cause lets face it all girls have some sort of crazieness in them deep down)
hope my advice helps
im going to a new skool at the beach i really stick out i get bullyed alot and i wear really bright clothes people make fun of me cause im a girl skater im really nice and love to meet new people but im really shy wat do i doo about making friends and makeing a new start plezzz helpp
ps.going into 9th
i hate being the new girl its harsh and hard no one talks to u at all just a warning to everyone dont try to act kool ul get caught :,(
hi my name is andrea im also going to be a new girl im very shy but i know that i have to focus on 1 thing wich is school u shouldnt be to worried after all your going to meat new freind and think positiv elike i do dont worry about the people you dont know worry about you theres going to be many guys and girls curios about you and all the attention is going to be on you, thts not bad because there going to be kids that have been in tht school for a piriod of time that have been begging mersis to get atleast some attention and here comes the new girl who is getting all of it
people r going to be dead jelouse for you so dont worry u will get new freinds and it will all be fine
im also moving ,but this summer so right when school starts im not going to know what to do or any thing! haha i need help on knowing how to get over all my friends and this one guy ….. i just dont know what to do, um going t omiss them soo much !!!!! plzzz help
Your advice for meeting people online reminded me of Grease.
Sandy came from Australia to America and met Danny Zucko.
And, yes. The old boys and girls can be excited about new girls.
A young lady of my acquaintance made a list of kind things to do every day.