Rachel’s Advice for Girls: How to Break Away from a Bad Friendship
Dear Rachel,
My best friend and I have been pretty close for about 3 years (that’s how long we’ve been “bffs”). I feel as though she’s always off with another one of our other bffs, she never tells me anything and I feel like she is trying to compete with me for everything like good grades, being a good athlete (which I never was and she knows it, so she rubs it in my face kind of; as in she and the other “bff” will run ahead when doing things in gym and kind of block me out).
She and the other friend also are always laughing about SOMETHING and when I ask, they say nothing with a smile on their faces.
She’s an only child and acts like a big baby about everything such as sharing a small piece of snack. When I or other people are starving she’ll be like *in a baby voice*, “NO! It’s mine!” She also always acts like a baby to get her way, especially with her mom and dad. It can get really annoying.
I know what you’re thinking: confront her. But I’ve done that in another situation where I KNOW she was mad but she just denies it.
CONFUSED, JEALOUS AND FED UP (this letter has been edited)
Dear CJF,
This girl sounds pretty tough to deal with. And frankly, anyone who uses a baby voice should have to leave the hemisphere. Sorry, but it drives me insane. I mean, that alone may disqualify this girl from being your friend. But I digress.
You’re getting treated like garbage. You know it. You don’t deserve it. And you can’t change it. First things first: this does not make you a loser, or pathetic. You’re getting kicked to the curb – dumped. Just like if you were dating someone. It stinks, yeah, but it happens to almost everyone at some point. The question is what you do now.
She’s doing that “threesome” thing where you’re the Odd Girl Out. Being tight with that other girl gives her the ability – the safety – to rag on you.
Surprise: I’m not going to tell you to confront her. I’ll take you at your word. You tried and it didn’t work. Truth is, sometimes talking doesn’t help. So here’s my plan for you:
1. GRADUALLY withdraw from hanging out with her. Just act like you have other stuff to do, even if you don’t. If she asks what’s up, just say you’re busy, stressed, becoming a monk, whatever. But don’t do it all at once or it’ll be obvious, and she might get upset.
2. Expect for her to start paying attention to you. Some people love to be abandoned – gets them really fired up. If she does, DO NOT TAKE THE BAIT. Stay the course on step #1.
3. Make a list of people you’d like to be closer with – people who have the potential to be good friends. Taylor Swift does not count.
4. Expect this girl to trash you behind your back. She’ll feel abandoned. She may accuse you of thinking you’re better than she is or she may try to play the victim. Try not to defend yourself unless confronted because that’ll only fan the flames. Just trust me that the story will die down. It always does and it’s not that interesting to people, anyway.
5. Take a risk - I know it’s scary – and make a plan with one of those people you identified in step 3. It could be working on a class project or hanging out or just sitting down at their lunch table.
6. Repeat step 5.
7. Be prepared to go through a period where you are feeling totally freaked out and alone. That’s normal. Remind yourself that people who get dumped have to go through a tough time before they heal and find someone new. That’s probably gonna be you. I swear it passes. Yes, even for you. There is nothing wrong with you that only you can see. That’s the crazy speaking in your head.
8. Repeat step 5.
9. By the time you hit this step, you’re going to have a new friend with potential. I just know it. Trust me. Good luck and let me know what happens.
Need advice? Send Rachel an email right now!
I LOVE U BFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF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AND ON
The friend that i have always turned down is REALLY a true friend and i dont know why i have always turned her down instead of just hangingout with her! Now that i have read your blog i will definitely use it and get everything under control. The friend that i have just recentely started hanging out with you know the one i used 2 always turn down her name is Ashton. Me and Ashton are like sisters we call each other Sis as if we were sisters even though we aren’t even related in any way. I think i have made the right choice of just letting Alexis go and hanging out with Ashton for now on. Ashton is ALWAYS ALWAYS there 4 me like at school when i get hurt or when im sad or something Alexis just goes off and plays with her other friends 4 as Ashton comes over 2 me and talks 2 me about whats wrong and that is a true friend! A true friend is someone that cares about you and loves you and will do anything 4 you and thats exactally who Ashton is which is a TRUE friend i hope me and Ashton dont get in any fights at all cause i want me and her 2 be 2getgher 4ever! 2getgher me and Ashton make a perfect set of BFF’S because we dont fight what we do when we are mad at each other is we talk it through and work it out and the next day we dont even think about the past even if the past 2 us was just yesterday we dont think of anything of the past we just start new days everyday and we go on from there,so in other words we dont look back we keep going. Every now and then we have our ups and downs but we talk and work it out. So ya so my Mom said she doesn’t think Alexis is a true friend because Alexis gets mad at me if i use the same words as her when we are texting and a TRUE TRUE friend would NEVER EVER do that 2 you. So ya so i think me and Ashton will be 2gether 4 a LONG LONG LONG time! But im really glad you made this blog about friendship because it will REALLY REALLY RAELLY help me out a lot with my friendship ways. So thanks again for all this GREAT advise that you have put on this blog 2 help people with there life cause your advise could change someones WHOLE life and make it better 4 them so you never know you might have just made a change in the world!
aww thanks sis ur the best bff i the whole world :]
i love u so much and i will always be there for u no mater wat!
same here i love you 2 and i will also always be there for you no matter wat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I LOVE U BFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU 2 BFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF AND I ALWAYS WILL <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
just try again and see if it will work this time cz it might work this time
i have one bff we have been bff’s for many years but she has been being mean to me like hanging out with our other friend jacey and the other day my bff alexis and her boyfriend were hanging out with me but he was talking to me more and alexis my bff was getting mad and she told me 2 back off so i did and i hung out with jacey and she got mad with me and started calling me names so i told my mom and she said she dont think alexis is a true friend so i hung started hanging out with my bff that i have always turned down so i just got off the phone with her and she called alexis and she told alexis that she thinks me and her should hang out so i will follow rachels steps and i will keep posted on what happens.
are you still there Katlin?????????
huh ur katlin lol
Dear Rachel,
I am having the same problems with one of my friends. I will definitely use your advise because i trust your advise because your advise sounds REALLY REALLY good! I hope that after using your advise everything will be good and under control with my life so i can live a happy life for now on but ya so thanks for the advise and i hope some other people will use your advise as well.
Dearly,
Katlin
hey and urs was really good wat u think about mine
i gots 2 go but i might be back on tomorrow bye love u sis
Hey Rachel,
I need some advice for my friend. My best friend is angry at me. Let’s call her A.I have 1 other best friend,let’s call her B. A has been my friend ever since I got into high school.I met B during the first year of HS too. The 3 of us became a super close group. I love the group. :] We have done a lot of things together. Now, I am a sophomore in high school and I met another friend. Let’s call her C. A and B both like her very much,so do I, and slowly, C started to come into our group. All of us did many things together. We had great fun.
So here comes the problem. One day,I was webcaming with A and C. So we were laughing and talking and gossiping and then C had to go. So A was like “awwwwww. Don’t go!!!!” and I suddenly felt pained. It seemed like A likes C more than me so I got a little frustrated and decided to tease A a little. So C was like : “I have to! My mom is getting pissed haha.” and then I’m like “awww. If you leave,then I’ll leave too!!” and A messaged me on facebook saying : ” You like C more than me. It is so obvious.” and I replied : ” I don’t. I like you guys all the same. o:” and A was like: ” yah. sure -_-” and I said,” It’s true…I told you this before.” And A was like ” lies. it’s so obvious you like her more than me. You know what? Let’s just not be friends. I hate you. Forever.” and I’m like ,” A…I told you already .-. I like everyone the same. and I left because it would awkward for us 2. aaaaand you would get angry at me if I didn’t talk..” and A said,” oh. so it’s not awkward between you and C? I see how it is… bye. I don’t care anymore…” and I just stood there. seeing her go offline and getting confused.
so help. :[ this happened three times already… :[ help.. A is serious this time and I really don’t want to lose her…she’s such a good friend :[ help.
Ok so I’m in sixth grade and my friend I think gets very jealous when gud things happen to me like this really cute guy which I had a crush on well he likes me too now instead of being happy 4 me she decides to ignore me and now she’s been handing out with these dudes which is getting me pretty jealous but she is also so moody at times that I don’t want to be around her and everytime when I’m hanging out with my other. Friends she will interupt and greet them and tell them something that will make them leave and well I’m not allowed to go to many places “strict mom” I’m so angry and sad PLZ HELP
that sounds just like my exfriend jacey she always has all these boys hang all over her and she is always thinking she is so much better
hi, i need help. It started at school where my bff and my other bff an i where all talking then i stated a fact and one of my bff’s said something that offended me but my other bff stuck up with the other friend. which really annoyed me and wanted to make me cry. But now all my closest friends seem to be doing it too me, some over skype and then i have my “bffs” at school who now do it nearly everyday. i tried to to the steps but just wouldn’t work because i dont see half of them because they live too far away and i only talk to them on skype and at school i will never find any new friends because im at that year where everyone has settled down in their groups of friends. im not happy and for about a week all i have wanted to do after school is cry my eyes out because, I hate my own life right now and feel like no one wants to be friends with me and i hate it. i cant live with it any more.
Please help.
Hey do i need help with my best friend who i will call C (or at least i think she is)
well i walked into art class a bit late and when i got there this girl who i will call T and my friend who i’ll call A and all of T’s friends (who were all C’s friends from primary school and doesnt like me for some reason were all talking and when i came in they all laughed and looked at me and said well this is arkward and hi alex!. i knew they were talking about me so i just sat down at my table and i heard T say stuff about someone who was obviously me because i was the only one at the thing she was talking about. I felt really upset because i thought A was my friend but she was laughing at me.
Anyway now i know my friend C has been telling stories which may or may not be true to everyone and laughing at me behind my back and i might be over reacting but i got really upset and i dont want to be friends with C or A anymore but what do you think i should say to them
i dont want to get in a fight with them becasue its T A and C plus all Ts friends ganging up n me and i am all by myself…
right now im going to say to C and A that im really dsappointed in them and that i thought we were really close friends but they were obviously just using them to get more popular which is reall mean and i dont want to be friends with them anymore but i dont want to fight because ive got better things to do with my life than worry about people like them…
do ou think that is good or not???
its not just this but A and C are leaving me out all the time anyway and haveing their “inside jokes” and planning sleepovers and stuff… plus they never stop folowing C’s crush around all day and it gets really boring!
Please help
from laughed at and left out
Okay… Make new friends and make her regret being mean to you!!
And it’s best to maybe cry with your new friends when she is around
Ok so I am in 5th grade I hanging out with bestie. (We met in 1st grade)There were 2 othe girls there. one i didnt mind but the other one I didnt really like So we were sitting on the bench and the girl I didnt mind I’ll call her m. M left to go inside the school. The girl I didnt like I’ll call her K. So K hauled my bff away and K and my BFF came back looking annoyed. i ignored them as i wasnt really paying attition. then M came out and me and my bff were havinyg a convo. K hauled m away like my BFF. My BFF left me mid convo to join K. M walked over to me and told me that K and her and my Bff wanted to hang out alone. My BFF AND k kinda just watched me,I’m kind of upset What shold i do?
i know how you feel and im kinda in a similar situation, i would forget about them. if they dont want you its their problem not yours, you are valuable. anyone would die to be friends with you, but no one knows what you are really like they just judge and no one should judge.
Hey so… I need some help with a friend of mine.
First, let me explain that this girl (who I will call Mai) and I have been friends for about 6 months. We were new kids together and boded over talking about cute guys. My mom had never really liked Mai, but to me, she was the best friend i ever had. Anyway, Mai and I were REALLY CLOSE for the first four months; however, once she had a boyfriend, things started to change.
She started ditching me for him and texting him while we were hanging out. It got so bad that she would Skype him during our sleep-over’s. He was ALWAYS THERE.
So anyway, now that you know that, here’s the thing I need to talk about.
So, the other day, I and she were having a sleep over. It was special, because I had gotten special permission from my mom to stay over, even though her parents were going to be out until 10pm. Anyway, so after my mom had left, she had made a clear agreement with Mai’s Dad that we were not supposed to leave the house, and no one was supposed to come over. They also made it clear that there were to be NO BOYS what-so-ever.
But after my mom left, things just went downhill.
For supper we were allowed to go to Mc Donald’s, but we had to go straight there and come straight back, and normally, that wouldn’t have been a big deal; however, Mai had decided to invite Sam (her boyfriend) to come with us.
That was my first warning sign.
Eventhough I reminded her about the rules, and told her that I WASN’T COMFERTABLE breaking the rules, she insisted that Sam should come. IN FACT, she and Sam laughed at me and told me that I should be so soft.
Fast forward 2hrs.
Mai and I are sitting on her bed talking and we somehow come to the topic of how Sam thinks that I don’t like him. About half way through the conversation she quickly mumbles “oh yeah, he might show up in about 10 minutes so you can explain everything to him.”
SECOND WARNING SIGN
This time I tell her “dude, you know I’m not allowed to be here if Sam’s here.”
Her reply: “its okay it’ll only be for a few minutes.”
So long story short, Sam shows up and I tell him that he really isn’t allowed to be at the house, but he didn’t care. After that a it became obvious that Mai and him didn’t want to talk with me there, so I said I wanted to change into my pj’s and went back to Mai’s room.
While I was in there, world war 3 took place inside of me.
Should I just wait it out and ignore my conscious?
Or should I call my mom and get a ride home?
In the end I called my mom and told her what had happened and she agreed to come and get me.
I didn’t tell Mai what the real reason was though. I just told her that my dad had heard about her parents not being home and had gotten really angry so I had to go home, just as my mom had told me to.
If it had ended with that it would have been fine.
BUT THEN, WHEN MY MOM SHOWED UP TO PICK ME UP, SHE LECTURED MAI ON HOW BY INVITEING HER BOYFRIEND OVER, MAI HAD BEEN VERY DISRESPECTFUL TO BOTH HER PARENTS AND ME.
My mom DIDN’T tell Mai’s dad what had happened though.
ANYWAY, now Mai’s is probably really ticked–off at me for telling my mom about everything, and I’m not sure what to do…
HELP!!!
Basically, ask Mai if she is mad at you and explain to her that you weren’t comfertable with breaking her parents rules. If she was any kind of friend, she would hug and make upi. And if she doesn’t, well, I guess you two are not BFFs!
Hope that helped
Tough she is obsessed with her boyfriend that its getting out of control ok so let her know how you feel or felt and you could not TAKE IT ANYMORE but wat you did was for the best just avoid the screaming and shouting hate that and be able to put your foot down with out all the drama GUD LUCK!!!
hey ppl!!!!i have a friend her name is johona and then i have a bff and i call her shonti.but shontis my bff.and johona she does not like her and ive known johana since 1st grade and ive only known shonti since last year in 4th grade and johona gets all jelous and everything.like one time i stayed the night at shontis new house this summer and johona called and was like y r u staying the night with her and i was like becuz shes my bff and i asked her y she doesnt like her and she was like becuz she gonna take my place like wooooooooow!!!!!!and this year in 5th gradew shes in my class and theres this boy in the other 5th grade class and she likes him and i dont but ive known him since kindergarden so weve been friends for 6 years and every time i tlk to him and he tlks to me she gets mad at me and she calls me fat and ugly and my mom says thats not a real friend but one day she’ll be mad at me then the next day she would be all nice.and i told her if shes just gonna start dramma to just not be my friend!!!!
Well I’m in sixth grade and I have had a lot of friend and your ok so tell her that you just friends with de dude and tell her. You need to be free a little but it doesn’t mean we should split tell her at the moment you are not recommending her as a. “Good friend”
hey
so my ‘best friend’ told me to sod off on fb and i got really upset about it but the next evening she tried blaming me for it all and being even more nasty but told me i was her mickey without minnie and she cried her self to sleep at night and i don’t know wether to trust and beleive her ?
help PLEASE!
Hi! This has definitely happened to ke before! Do not tell her that you dont know if you should believe her or not!!! Tell her how you feel about it though. Tell her about why you were upset
Okay so I have this on firend we have
Been beaties seens 4th we are now in 8th and we are close but she is a how
And she alredy had sex we onley 13 and well it was my b day and she did not give me anythang I am not sayin thats bad but she alwasys expacts me to do evert thang and its gay I love her as a sis
And yhea al my firends used me andone of myfirwnds was mean to me once and o called her a bitch what ever but I wish pepole ware nicer to me WHAT DO I DO TO GET PEPOLE TO NOT USE ME ANY MORE
Hey,
My BFF since the 5th grade (I’m in seventh now) has to move to Mexico May, 30th. I don’t know what to do!!!!! Please Help!
my bff and i hav been official bffs since like last year. but she, since then, has hit me with a towel, pencil, pillow, bit my arm, slammed my finger in a book, and squirted water on my head outta a water bottle. its really starting to bug me. i just watched a movie that made me realize: she is NOT a good friend!! i just dont even wanna speak to her anymore. but these steps may work for this too. Thanks!!!
hey welll i am here again and well me and my franns are ok but a few of us are not!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???????????
HELP ME PLEASE
hey i have some friends that are being realy mean and obnoxious and well one girl she one day is the nicest and sweetest girl and then the next day she is so rude and ignors me and makes fun of me and she really gets on my nerves and then my other friend she was my friend then she started saying stuff like i was always in her buisness and stuff and then one day she got her name on the board and the next day she got 15min off her wellness and it was on the board and i said well her and the other girl both names were on the board and one 15min and the other had 20min and i said do you know that your name is on the board and she said i was on the board and then when we whent to the computer lab she said tht i was always in her buisness and then i said tht theire name was on the board eiot but i know i shoulnt have said tht but please help me tell me what i should do thanxs
always and forever Kadana Gumm im in sixth grade
lol gurl rember no 1 will ever come between us k luv u gurl!!!!!!
no one ever lol laugh out loud
i have one friend in sixth grade she was talking about me today she is also mean to my other friend kadana im kim and cortney has been relly nice untill she meat julie. i wish we could be friend.
awwwwwww im so sorry i will always b there 4 yuo gurl
me too always there 4 you
i have one friend in sixth grade she was talking about me today she is also mean to my other friend kadana im kim and countny has been relly nice untill she meta julia. i wish we could be friaend .
Hey, this actually helped me alot by understanding a true friendship. This always happen to me which i feel very sad, everytime you going to step in a new group you will be like errr, *feel so left out when they are talking. You will feel whether will they acpect you as their friend or not. it reallly kills me when im into this mess. I wanna get into a good group of friends.
this has also helped me leana true friend ship
me 2 gurl i have been in the same sitiaion lol hope we could talk soom byee
me too hope your sutuwason is better