Comments on: Is Hooking Up Good for Girls? http://www.rachelsimmons.com/2010/02/why-the-hook-up-culture-is-hurting-girls/ Leadership for Life Tue, 07 Feb 2012 17:08:46 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v= By: Puritan Pundits Should Chill Out — Here Are 5 Reasons I’m Happy I’ve Had Lots of Casual Sex « Women Born Transsexual http://www.rachelsimmons.com/2010/02/why-the-hook-up-culture-is-hurting-girls/comment-page-4/#comment-5378 Puritan Pundits Should Chill Out — Here Are 5 Reasons I’m Happy I’ve Had Lots of Casual Sex « Women Born Transsexual Wed, 31 Aug 2011 07:07:22 +0000 http://www.rachelsimmons.com/?p=2822#comment-5378 [...] Rachel Simmons, relationship advice columnist for Teen Vogue: “These letters worry me. They signify a growing trend in girls’ sexual lives where they are giving themselves to guys on guys’ terms. They hook up first and ask later. “ [...] [...] Rachel Simmons, relationship advice columnist for Teen Vogue: “These letters worry me. They signify a growing trend in girls’ sexual lives where they are giving themselves to guys on guys’ terms. They hook up first and ask later. “ [...]

]]> By: On Cosmo Girls and whether it is a good idea or not to be one. « M i n d F u c k D a i l y http://www.rachelsimmons.com/2010/02/why-the-hook-up-culture-is-hurting-girls/comment-page-4/#comment-5351 On Cosmo Girls and whether it is a good idea or not to be one. « M i n d F u c k D a i l y Mon, 29 Aug 2011 09:20:11 +0000 http://www.rachelsimmons.com/?p=2822#comment-5351 [...] of young women who are unhappy with the hook-up scene and thank her for her work (Shalit 2008) . Rachel J Simmons, advice columnist at Teen Vogue, also gets letters from young women all the time who are miserable [...] [...] of young women who are unhappy with the hook-up scene and thank her for her work (Shalit 2008) . Rachel J Simmons, advice columnist at Teen Vogue, also gets letters from young women all the time who are miserable [...]

]]> By: College Girl http://www.rachelsimmons.com/2010/02/why-the-hook-up-culture-is-hurting-girls/comment-page-4/#comment-3232 College Girl Sat, 05 Feb 2011 16:08:28 +0000 http://www.rachelsimmons.com/?p=2822#comment-3232 So, I liked this guy, and he liked me. Instead of going on dates to see if we just liked each other as potential flings or potential boyfriends. Because of girl code, I could not date him. He was my friends ex. He was also one of my very good guy friends. He never really dated her, and she does not consider him as a relationship or as a boyfriend, just as an ex. Although she has a boy friend, she still does not want to see him with anyone. He is also my Ex's friend. My ex and I are on really good terms and hang out once a week or so. He encouraged me, and told me that the guy I liked is a good guy and that we would be great together. It is a weird triangle where everyone is really good friends, and lots of awkward tension, and my ex just thinks it is stupid. If 2 people like each other for months, and have tried to get rid of the feelings, and still cannot, they should go for it. She knows I like him and she knows he likes me. Heck, everyone knows it, but we still cannot date. I told him my feelings for him did not matter. We made out once, and it was still not awkward. I encouraged him to find a girlfriend or another girl. The sooner we both got over each other, the better. After 3 days of "friends with benefits" I told him I could not continue it. I felt guilty. He asked if I wanted to be his gf, regardless of everything. I just could not do that. It would really really hurt my other friend. So, he was really sad, and almost cried for an hour. He was more emotionally attached to me than I was to him because the break did not hurt me as much. Girls define the relationship, as long as they communicate. Guys do develop feelings about others. Hooking up is also a form of "masturbation". It allows one to take care of needs without a relationship or a significant other. Sure, tell girls to masturbate, but some cannot get off by masturbation. Some need actual intercourse. I have had 2 guys offer to go down (oral) and get me off, and when I ask if I need to return the favor, they say that I do not need to. The key is communication. As long as both parties know what the other wants, it is okay. If emotions develop, and no one talks about it, it is horrible. If you are comfortable making out with someone, you should be comfortable talking to that person. Oh, and by hooking up, I mean making out with someone who you are not dating, or someone that you have no interest to date. So, I liked this guy, and he liked me. Instead of going on dates to see if we just liked each other as potential flings or potential boyfriends. Because of girl code, I could not date him. He was my friends ex. He was also one of my very good guy friends. He never really dated her, and she does not consider him as a relationship or as a boyfriend, just as an ex. Although she has a boy friend, she still does not want to see him with anyone. He is also my Ex’s friend. My ex and I are on really good terms and hang out once a week or so. He encouraged me, and told me that the guy I liked is a good guy and that we would be great together. It is a weird triangle where everyone is really good friends, and lots of awkward tension, and my ex just thinks it is stupid. If 2 people like each other for months, and have tried to get rid of the feelings, and still cannot, they should go for it.
She knows I like him and she knows he likes me. Heck, everyone knows it, but we still cannot date.
I told him my feelings for him did not matter. We made out once, and it was still not awkward. I encouraged him to find a girlfriend or another girl. The sooner we both got over each other, the better. After 3 days of “friends with benefits” I told him I could not continue it. I felt guilty.

He asked if I wanted to be his gf, regardless of everything. I just could not do that. It would really really hurt my other friend. So, he was really sad, and almost cried for an hour. He was more emotionally attached to me than I was to him because the break did not hurt me as much.
Girls define the relationship, as long as they communicate. Guys do develop feelings about others. Hooking up is also a form of “masturbation”. It allows one to take care of needs without a relationship or a significant other. Sure, tell girls to masturbate, but some cannot get off by masturbation. Some need actual intercourse. I have had 2 guys offer to go down (oral) and get me off, and when I ask if I need to return the favor, they say that I do not need to.

The key is communication. As long as both parties know what the other wants, it is okay. If emotions develop, and no one talks about it, it is horrible. If you are comfortable making out with someone, you should be comfortable talking to that person. Oh, and by hooking up, I mean making out with someone who you are not dating, or someone that you have no interest to date.

]]> By: jake http://www.rachelsimmons.com/2010/02/why-the-hook-up-culture-is-hurting-girls/comment-page-4/#comment-3181 jake Thu, 27 Jan 2011 22:34:40 +0000 http://www.rachelsimmons.com/?p=2822#comment-3181 Let's be fair ladies. You have all the right to exercise your freedom of choice to let as many men inside you as you'd like. And men should have the freesom to decide if the amount of people a woman has slept with matters or not. Fair enough? Feminists really overthink these things. Do you question why people are sad when someone dies? Or why someone is happy when they land a new job? Well, same applies to a promiscuous woman. Its just a natural feeling most men get when they have feelings for a woman, only to find out she has a long sexual history. Not really much to explain. I don't know why I feel this way, or pretty much every other guy I know. Its just a instinctual feeling and it is really unfair to attack men for having feelings they can't control. Do you women truly know what it is like to be a man? Can u appreciate what it feels like to be a man? I hardly believe any of you wuld take well to a male movement premised on demanding that woman think like men, with complete disregard for that fact that you are woman. You realize you are merely telling men how they should think. That's not cool at all. Let’s be fair ladies. You have all the right to exercise your freedom of choice to let as many men inside you as you’d like. And men should have the freesom to decide if the amount of people a woman has slept with matters or not. Fair enough? Feminists really overthink these things. Do you question why people are sad when someone dies? Or why someone is happy when they land a new job? Well, same applies to a promiscuous woman. Its just a natural feeling most men get when they have feelings for a woman, only to find out she has a long sexual history. Not really much to explain. I don’t know why I feel this way, or pretty much every other guy I know. Its just a instinctual feeling and it is really unfair to attack men for having feelings they can’t control. Do you women truly know what it is like to be a man? Can u appreciate what it feels like to be a man? I hardly believe any of you wuld take well to a male movement premised on demanding that woman think like men, with complete disregard for that fact that you are woman. You realize you are merely telling men how they should think. That’s not cool at all.

]]> By: E. R. http://www.rachelsimmons.com/2010/02/why-the-hook-up-culture-is-hurting-girls/comment-page-4/#comment-2720 E. R. Thu, 16 Dec 2010 12:53:48 +0000 http://www.rachelsimmons.com/?p=2822#comment-2720 I am bewildered by the degree to which you as a feminist are predisposed to believing that men have no romantic or genuine feelings and I think that you are making an equally more egregious mistake in neglecting the effects of peer pressure on female behaviour. I am bewildered by the degree to which you as a feminist are predisposed to believing that men have no romantic or genuine feelings and I think that you are making an equally more egregious mistake in neglecting the effects of peer pressure on female behaviour.

]]> By: E. R. http://www.rachelsimmons.com/2010/02/why-the-hook-up-culture-is-hurting-girls/comment-page-4/#comment-2719 E. R. Thu, 16 Dec 2010 12:47:57 +0000 http://www.rachelsimmons.com/?p=2822#comment-2719 A response to peer pressure? As a guy I see things fro the other side: If you "date" a girl publicly, her friends will often pressure her for being with you because "you are not good enough for her". This can simply mean that the less attractive ones lose an eyecatching companion, and free party entrance ticket. When a girl tells her friends that she is just "hooking up", she is giving in to an immediate need, and is momentarily allowed an escape from peer pressure. Also, it means less of face if after a few months she drops the guy or gets dumped by him - after all it was not a relationship, she tells everyone, just a hookup, and so she didn't fail in her choice or in her ability to retain. A response to peer pressure? As a guy I see things fro the other side: If you “date” a girl publicly, her friends will often pressure her for being with you because “you are not good enough for her”. This can simply mean that the less attractive ones lose an eyecatching companion, and free party entrance ticket. When a girl tells her friends that she is just “hooking up”, she is giving in to an immediate need, and is momentarily allowed an escape from peer pressure. Also, it means less of face if after a few months she drops the guy or gets dumped by him – after all it was not a relationship, she tells everyone, just a hookup, and so she didn’t fail in her choice or in her ability to retain.

]]> By: Shyronn Crider http://www.rachelsimmons.com/2010/02/why-the-hook-up-culture-is-hurting-girls/comment-page-4/#comment-2174 Shyronn Crider Fri, 10 Sep 2010 14:50:59 +0000 http://www.rachelsimmons.com/?p=2822#comment-2174 Unfortunately I get to look at this form of relationship through the eyes of my oldest daughter. (("Friends with Benefits")) The thing that stands out is how girls "hooking up" end up walling up their emotions. They try so very hard not to feel, to just enjoy. This can be such a wonderful time for them, but shoving their feelings into a tiny box isn't the way to enjoy any of it. Unfortunately I get to look at this form of relationship through the eyes of my oldest daughter. ((“Friends with Benefits”)) The thing that stands out is how girls “hooking up” end up walling up their emotions. They try so very hard not to feel, to just enjoy. This can be such a wonderful time for them, but shoving their feelings into a tiny box isn’t the way to enjoy any of it.

]]> By: Wild Girl EXPOSED: Rachel Simmons | ThoseGirlsAreWild.com http://www.rachelsimmons.com/2010/02/why-the-hook-up-culture-is-hurting-girls/comment-page-4/#comment-1011 Wild Girl EXPOSED: Rachel Simmons | ThoseGirlsAreWild.com Wed, 02 Jun 2010 15:56:18 +0000 http://www.rachelsimmons.com/?p=2822#comment-1011 [...] year after my friend Kaycee Jane sent me a link to Rachel’s heavily discussed blog post on hooking up. After a few clicks around her site, I liked what I saw so I headed to the library to grab her [...] [...] year after my friend Kaycee Jane sent me a link to Rachel’s heavily discussed blog post on hooking up. After a few clicks around her site, I liked what I saw so I headed to the library to grab her [...]

]]> By: Do Men Want a Career Woman – Topic of the Week | ThoseGirlsAreWild.com http://www.rachelsimmons.com/2010/02/why-the-hook-up-culture-is-hurting-girls/comment-page-4/#comment-1010 Do Men Want a Career Woman – Topic of the Week | ThoseGirlsAreWild.com Wed, 02 Jun 2010 15:38:47 +0000 http://www.rachelsimmons.com/?p=2822#comment-1010 [...] year after my friend Kaycee Jane sent me a link to Rachel’s heavily discussed blog post on hooking up. After a few clicks around her site, I liked what I saw so I headed to the library to grab her [...] [...] year after my friend Kaycee Jane sent me a link to Rachel’s heavily discussed blog post on hooking up. After a few clicks around her site, I liked what I saw so I headed to the library to grab her [...]

]]> By: Casual Sex, Hooking Up, F()kc Buddies: Think About it Mondays | ThoseGirlsAreWild.com http://www.rachelsimmons.com/2010/02/why-the-hook-up-culture-is-hurting-girls/comment-page-4/#comment-949 Casual Sex, Hooking Up, F()kc Buddies: Think About it Mondays | ThoseGirlsAreWild.com Wed, 19 May 2010 05:08:40 +0000 http://www.rachelsimmons.com/?p=2822#comment-949 [...] Girl Exposed” post within the next week. On her blog she wrote a very controversial post, “Why The Hookup Culture is Hurting Girls” The article sparked rebuttals from several blogs and a lengthy conversation from hundreds of women. [...] [...] Girl Exposed” post within the next week. On her blog she wrote a very controversial post, “Why The Hookup Culture is Hurting Girls” The article sparked rebuttals from several blogs and a lengthy conversation from hundreds of women. [...]

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