GirlTip #40: Beware a Casual Apology
“I’m sorry you feel that way” is often used as an apology, but it’s not. It’s sympathy masquerading as remorse. If you feel sad or guilty that someone is hurting, try “I feel badly that you’re upset.” Beware a casual apology. Most genuine apologies usually begin with “I’m sorry that I…”. The other ones usually just annoy people.
Children are taught to say they are sorry whether they really are sorry or not. I don’t think anybody should ever offer an apology unless they sincerely feel it.
To say “I’m sorry you feel that way” is rude in my opinion.
I’d rather hear “I apologize, I never meant to hurt you.”
I don’t agree with saying “I’m sorry” at all. I’m NOT a sorry person, I’m a great person. I just sometimes mess up. I have taught my children to take responsibility for their actions, but they don’t say “I’m sorry.” Instead we have learned that “I apologize” is a better way to start our phrasing for a genuine “apology.” Saying “I’m sorry” can mean too many different things and leaves all parties involved feeling badly over things they may not have even done or actions that were the result of someone else’s bad decisions.
I do agree, but I don’t see much of a difference in “I’m sorry you feel that way” and “I feel badly that you’re upset.” Both seem to put the blame on the person who is already feeling bad, and to whom the apology is addressed to. Instead, I usually say something like, “I’m sorry I hurt you.” It doesn’t put blame on the person for feeling the way they do, and it isn’t me apologizing for something I don’t feel like I should have to apologize for. “Hurt and Lonely” is right, you can be sorry someone was hurt by your actions without feeling sorry for the action itself.
I agree. The idea behind is “I don’t think what I did was wrong, but I didn’t mean for my actions to hurt you.”
“I’m sorry you feel that way” feels like the other person is putting the blame on me for being hurt by whatever they did. Bottom line is if you need to apologize, just do it, but don’t apologize for someone else’s feelings, take responsibility for YOUR actions. That’s what an apology means; taking responsibility for your end.
thats a crock! no offense but if im not sorry that i did something it does NOT mean im not sorry for the turnout.