Comments on: You’re Just Not That Into Her Anymore: BFF Breakups

By: Valerie

Valerie — Thu, 27 May 2010 16:58:40 +0000

well, i actually think that this is NOT what you do to your best friends, i think that at least have to talk to them, or try all your best to restore the relationshif, if it is a girl and your bff. but i absolutelly agrea with the “boyfriend” thing!

By: Rachel Simmons

Rachel Simmons — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 06:01:26 +0000

Not bad advice — sometimes backing off can be very attractive to people — but, even if someone comes back, they may not change their ways. This friend sounds like bad news bears and I really hope Lidiya got to move on to someone who will treat her right.

By: a.beav

a.beav — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 19:17:36 +0000

One more thing I might add would be to leave her alone and she will probably realize that you were the only friend that they could get along with.

By: Melissa

Melissa — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 20:00:37 +0000

Hey I’m just coming across your page now, and it’s amazing how similar of a situation I am currently in. A friend of mine and myself have been friends since grade 8. She is an only child with limited friends and is pretty much a home-body and still loves girl nights and playing board games at parties. At the age of 23 I have very different likes, having gone to university for 4 years and “getting out of this town” and then eventually back in for a full-time job – it astonishes me how little she has changed, after everything I’ve witnessed and experienced simply through travel and school…

I can understand how intense it would be to break up with a BFF because I just have never thought of it – I avoid her at most times and leave our meetings to lunches out and short stop ins. I’ve reconnected with a friend over the years who I find I’m closer to, I know this bugs her because she’s mentioned it – and I’ve just pointed out that my interests have changed and my second friend is more outgoing…

Rachel you’re suggestions are fantastic – and though I don’t think I’m brave enough to ‘dump’ my ex-best friend, I do agree relationships often fall apart, and I’ve just vowed to avoid “leading her on”

By: Rachel Simmons

Rachel Simmons — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 11:28:34 +0000

Great point, Rebecca! Thanks for adding that.

By: Rebecca

Rebecca — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 18:31:49 +0000

I’d just add to this great post a simple idea: be kind. Even after this breakup, on a level, be friendly. Unlike most dating relationships, at the end of any friendship is the possibility of another, different kind of friendship in the future. So even though this bff friendship may be over, leave room for the acquaintance-kind of friendship that you’ll always be glad to have in the years to come. You’ve had great times, great memories, and remaining friendly can keep those ties in tact, even without the bff status. You go girl!