Comments on: Lilly’s Blog: How the Popular Game “Ten Fingers” Shames Girls

By: Lilly

Lilly — Sat, 12 Dec 2009 02:43:31 +0000

Hi Sally,
I agree with you, 10 Fingers is an example of a larger problem. By writing about this tangible experience, I hope to get people thinking about why girls are so easily shamed.

By: Sally

Sally — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 21:47:33 +0000

Lilly –
Although I do appreciate your article addressing this game I don’t believe that all of your conclusions are accurate. I think that you are putting too much emphasis on the game and instead of bashing the game we need to focus on why girls are letting themselves be “shamed” by others. I have had many positive experiences with the game where I have been at all ends of the spectrum (too slutty, too prudish, too in-between) and I have never let it bother me because I know there are more important things in life. I think that a more helpful post would be one that discusses why girls are feeling shame for who they are, why these feelings are not acceptable and how to combat this.

By: Lilly

Lilly — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 22:53:05 +0000

Oh my goodness! Join the club…we’re happy to have you!:)

By: Rachael B

Rachael B — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 02:07:07 +0000

I was dragged into a game of “Ten Fingers” when I was thirteen. The other players branded me as a prude because I was the last one out. There really is no way to win the game, and I’m happy to see you drawing attention to that.

By: Lilly

Lilly — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 00:20:01 +0000

Hi Kelly,
I commend you and your friends for being so supportive of each other! I really wish I could say I have had similar experiences with this game but I am certainly happy to find out that some people do not play a game in which everyone loses!

By: Maureen

Maureen — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 01:52:41 +0000

Great post, Lilly! I agree with you that these games often leave girls feeling bad about themselves. Thanks for getting us to think about the choices we make and reminding us that we do have a choice.

By: kathleen

kathleen — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 23:18:22 +0000

HI – wow. I played the “I never” game a lot as a girl scout and ice breaker as a way to get to know someone. For example, ” I have never been to Yellowstone Park.” or “I have never been a flower girl in a wedding.” I think the game is really fun

By: Kelly

Kelly — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 16:49:31 +0000

Another great article.

However, I played this game as a teen girl (even a high school girl). We called it “I Have Never…” I was often first out. Honestly? I don’t remember feeling particularly bad or slutty. And I don’t remember my friends judging me for my experiences, either… and I certainly didn’t think my friends who “won” (by not getting out) were prudes. My most “prudish” friend lost her virginity at 22, which was later than the rest of our group of 6. And I honestly think we all supported one another’s sexual agency.

I don’t deny there’s a lot unhealthy about girls and the way they relate, but at least for me and my friends, I honestly remember the “I Have Never…” as being silly and fun. We’re still relatively close to this day.

I look forward to your blog entries!