Lilly’s Blog: 1 Teen Girl Sick of Celebrity Culture (Yes, Kate Moss. You, Too, Sofia Vergara). Wanted: New Role Models for Teen Girls
Am I the only one who thinks disappointing someone feels so much worse than making them angry? Well, I’m disappointed in you, Kate Moss. And in you too, Sofia Vergara. I’m not angry, just disappointed.
Kate Moss recently told a fashion website that “Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.” First things first, who’s her fact-checker? I can think of hundreds of things that taste better than skinny feels (I’ll give you a hint: one of them rhymes with “schmocolate.”).
I’m not surprised by the sentiment she expressed. The heaps of money she’s paid for looking tiny probably help to make being skinny feel (really) good. On a larger scale, the media tells girls skinny is beautiful, and who doesn’t love feeling beautiful? And when the entirety of girls’ worth is measured in pounds, being skinny, and therefore a worthwhile person, can seem more important than food.
I can (sort of) understand why a woman may feel like her appearance is more important than eating, but I can’t understand what Moss was thinking when she divulged her “diet” tip. It is irresponsible for a celebrity of her fame to so blatantly endorse disordered eating.
I’m not angry at Moss for saying such a silly, dangerous thing because I can sympathize with her desire to be thin. But I am disappointed that she did not consider the impact she has on young girls, as the mother of one herself, when she espoused her view.
Just as Moss failed countless girls, Sofia Vergara messed up big time. I’ve been watching her on ABC’s new comedy, Modern Family, and I am was such a fan. When talking to the ladies of The View about her eighteen year old son, Vergara reveals that she had him when she was thirteen. She then jokingly says, “I was raped” (Watch it here). I hope that the ensuing laughter was a nervous reaction and not genuine delight in the horrible comment. Rape jokes are never okay. Never ever. Vegara sets a troublesome example of trivializing rape. And while I am not condoning her “joke,” I imagine that she was nervous and ended up putting her high-heeled foot in her mouth.
I guess that’s the point I’m trying to make. Celebrities mess up, a lot. So really, I’m disappointed in us. I’m disappointed in us for turning to celebrities again and again, hoping to see them say the right things. But they never fail to remind us that an actress or a supermodel, a role model does not make. We sympathize with celebrity gaffes because we, too, diet unhealthily and joke unthinkingly.
It’s like being in a bad relationship; you hope the other person won’t screw up and that you’ll be pleasantly surprised – yet there’s comfort in the fact that he or she inevitably will. So we romanticize celebrities and model our hair color, our clothes, and our attitudes based on what they do and say. Then we feign shock and indignation when the highlights and skirts are unflattering and the advice is unsound. Rinse and repeat.
We complain about Hollywood’s behavior without stopping to think about what we’re looking for in a role model. Is it really wise to look to a woman who is credited with making emaciation look cool for thoughts on loving your body? Is it really that surprising when an actress says something insensitive?
I admire actors and musicians for their talent. But when it comes to life lessons, I’ll stick with the words of writers, activists, and loved ones. I’ve decided to stop being perpetually disappointed by celebrities and start re-appointing the job of role model to people I can count on.
Lilly is a high school senior and guest blogger for RachelSimmons.com. Read more about her here.
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I love how kate is talking about how skinny feels good but isnt that giving a bad message to young girls?
Lilly,
I agree with you that there are not many role models in the celebrity culture. Celebrities are more for entertaining that is why they make movies and music. Most of them are out of school and so aren’t like kids 20 and below who are forced to go to school to receive an education. Half the celebrities out there had homeschooling or were just drop outs. That’s another reason why they are not the best role models. But with every bad there’s a good. Take Alicia Keys, Kate Winslet, Rachel McAdams. They are all strong, beautiful women who are not in the press for their thin frames or their fakeness (Brittney, Lindsay, Miley), now they are the role models that should receive more attention. So why there are the Kate’s and Naomi’s in the world, there’s also the Leo’s and Al Gore’s out there who are making the world a better place and are worthy of being role models.
Sydney
Hi Sydney,
You’re absolutely right, there are some true celebrity role models. Sadly, the positive impact of people like Winslet and Dicaprio is easily lost in the constant coverage of celebrity debauchery. Just as consumer feedback can influence the type of models we see(thanks, Glamour, for featuring plus-sized models!), we can “vote” for role models by supporting magazines that value celebs’ causes more than their shenanigans.
I’m going to address Ms. Moss’s comment, not Ms. Vergara’s.
One thing I immediately notice in Moss’ comment is the assumption (on her part or on the part of many who might hear it) that one can control their “skinny” by how they eat. Simply not true. It sounds like Ms. Moss diets, but she’s also likely genetically prone to being thin. Her comment help perpetuates the myth that A. all of us have a skinny Kate Moss inside us if we TRY HARD ENOUGH (starve, work out, obsess over food – anorexia), and B. she is a paragon of that hard work / virtue / obsession and should be praised.
Secondly, Ms. Moss’s words may have been extreme but – how is it really different than so very, very many people I know who constantly praise dieting or the noble pursuit of weight loss? I think her comments are just reflecting our weight- and size-obsessed culture.
I notice you don’t start skinny-woman bashing in this post, for which I commend you.
A lot of people will claim they don’t listen to celebrities as experts on anything. However… everywhere you turn their opinions are held up as important, relevant, expert, etc. I think they are more of a mirror reflecting our cultural values and less of an influence, though… but I could be wrong!
Once again, thanks for a wonderful post. I look forward to your entries, Lilly!
Hi Kelly,
I am so glad you noticed that I do not bash skinny women. As someone who has always and probably will always look like a giraffe, I am aware of the tense relationship some women have with their thinner peers. As you point out, our $30 billion dollar diet industry teaches girls that thinness is a product of hard-work and “virtue.” And I often feel like I am expected to apologize for “getting away” with being skinny without, admittedly, lifting a finger. Thank you for reminding us thin women are not the “enemy,” just as being heavy is not a failure.
Lilly
Lilly,
If my little girl grows up to be as thoughtful and well-spoken as you I will be one proud mamma. YOU are a role model for our little ones. Now we just need to find better role models for you….
Keep up the great work!
Melissa