Comments on: Lilly’s Blog: Sounding Off on ‘That’s What She Said’ Jokes

By: Jokes You Love. | 7Wins.eu

Jokes You Love. | 7Wins.eu — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 18:57:31 +0000

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By: Hilarious Joker

Hilarious Joker — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 08:28:21 +0000

The more I read it, the more it impresses me. I don’t know how I ever worked without hilarious and funny things in our life, Life would be so much easier especially when there’s a jokes here and there. Being funny is nice because a lot of serious people are lacking with this kind of behavior that is why they are much look older. I would like to thank you for your outstanding blog post. Keep it up! Awesome!

By: Lilly

Lilly — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 22:43:29 +0000

Sydney,
Your question is very important and very hard to answer. The short answer is yes. I think that eventually girls will stop saying things along the lines of, ‘I hope you die in a hole. Love you!’ I think the girls who use this trick will stop only because any day now someone will come up with another way to be mean. While the specific trend may pass, I doubt the underlying issues will be resolved any time soon. You’re on to something big here. I think there are three root issues behind this “Hate you, love you” trend.
1)Most girls live in environments that teach them to be constantly nice. Subsequently, when they inevitably express anger they must immediately repair their Nice Girl reputation by saying something nice.
2)Friendships are extremely important to girls. A girl who is mad at a friend may say one awful remark coupled with a compliment because that is easier, and less complicated, then actually unpacking a friendship’s emotional baggage. It is scary to truly express your frustration with a friend because a fight can put a friendship on hold for a long time.
3)“In matters of grave importance, style, not sincerity, is the vital thing.” That is a line from The Importance of Being Earnest, a wonderful play by Oscar Wilde. And the sentiment applies to this situation. It doesn’t matter how much being called a slut hurts, the injured party is expected to accept any half-hearted attempts made by the bully to alleviate the cruelty of the comment. Girls who accept insincere apologies teach those around them that they can get away with being mean.
Unfortunately, I think these root causes of the disturbing trend you addressed are here to stay.

By: Lilly

Lilly — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 22:15:11 +0000

Amy,
I am torn between two reactions I had to the Hardy Girl’s proposal to use “That’s What She Said” in their campaign. I think it is a very clever use of a popular phrase. After all, their efforts will give girls a voice. Using That’s What She Said as the campaign name could convey an appealing tongue-in-cheek, light-hearted tone. On the one hand, I appreciate and chuckle at the idea of the use of TWSS. But I do not believe in “reclaiming” negative words or phrases. The intended connotations of reclaimed phrases are often outweighed by the better known, offensive meanings. One enters dangerous territory when one assumes that others understand the phrase has been “redefined.” I’d encourage the Hardy Girls to create a variation of TWSS. A name like “That’s What She Says” or “This is What She Said” has the humorous reference yet the unique phrasing distances the campaign from the offensive joke.
I hope this helps!

By: Sydney

Sydney — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 01:37:08 +0000

This post is very interesting and relates well to teenagers every day lives. At my school, last year “That’s What She Said” Jokes were very popular and became the norm. Before this kids would go around and say “Ur Mom”, “Hut No”, “Salt”, “Eehh”, and many others graced the hallways. Eehh is probably the most popular followed by “That or Your So GAY”, and thankfully TWSS is starting to finally die off. It is unfair that the society we live in today, favors males and still tends to lead to male domination. Guys just like in John Tucker Must Die, still go around and high five their buddies when discussing their many conquests. I have seen this happen many times and am disgusted to the core. However, if a girlfriend of mine discusses something shes done, another friend will turn around and in less than five minutes call her a slut, ho or something else that is mean and hurtful. This problem will never completely die off since girls have developed the idea that they can say whatever they want to their friend and mask it with “I Love You.” A common example would be, “your such a slut, but I still love you”, the girl saying this thinks its ok since she said that I love you and is basically implying to her friend, I really think this, but its ok how I said it since I still said I love you. Lily, do you think this trend of girl on girl mean interaction will ever pass??

By: Kelly

Kelly — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 17:05:15 +0000

Great post! You’ve articulated many of the “uh-uh” feelings I’ve had when hearing this supposedly “harmless” joke. Great job!

By: Amy Jussel, Shaping Youth

Amy Jussel, Shaping Youth — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 22:57:54 +0000

This is particularly pertinent because the Hardy Girls Healthy Women team are querying a girl-driven voting effort to ‘name their upcoming girl power campaign’ —this phrase is one of their more provocative choices in an attempt to respin the message. As you can see, it’s already started some controversy…Maybe you could weigh in on their blog and lend them a hand with your context and ‘girl take’ on this? Here’s their post. Your thoughts?

http://hghw.blogspot.com/2009/10/help-name-this-campaign.html