Lilly’s Blog: The Real Reason Girls Wear Sexy Costumes on Halloween
Lately, the blogs have been all atwitter (some metaphors are meant to be mixed) about Halloween, but I think one important point has not been addressed. We can all agree that the overwhelming majority of costumes offered to young women are hyper sexualized. But no one talks about what I think is the most important reason girls wear sexy costumes.
Simply put, girls don’t like looking silly. Just like college counseling offices are where sanity goes to die, girls check silliness at the middle school door. I was a pretty silly girl back in the day, but in middle school I felt like I had to be cool at all times. So my female peers and I stopped doing or saying anything goofy. Goofy is the antithesis to cool, whatever that means anyway.
Thankfully, I went to the Girls Leadership Institute and got my groove back, but that’s a whole other blog post. Few girls escape the pressure to be cool and therefore “normal;” I certainly still feel it. And the best way to convince people the book is cool is to have a cool cover. What girls wear becomes an important symbol. Ever wonder why teenage girls dress pretty similarly? There’s safety in numbers. If you wear what everyone else is wearing you’ll blend in and maybe, if you’re lucky, someone will even mistake you for one of the cool kids. Girls forgo being silly in order to be cool.
Halloween seems like the perfect opportunity to allow yourself to be silly and dust off that Scooby Doo costume you wore in fourth grade (it seemed look like a good idea at the time). You can wear something ridiculous because everyone will know it’s a costume, and they won’t judge you, right? Not so much.
“Cool” doesn’t take vacations. You either are cool 24/7 or you aren’t. Unfortunately, Scooby Doo isn’t considered cool. But sexy Scooby, now that’s a keeper. I’m not a huge fan of sexy costumes, but let’s be serious, a cat outfit is far more flattering than an inflatable Hershey’s kiss costume. An absurdly skimpy costume is infinitely cooler than a costume that’s just absurd.
Why it’s cool to be a sexy referee, I’m not really sure. But rather than becoming caught up in the specifics of what girls wear on Halloween, we should focus on why girls who know better still bend under the pressure. A lot of girls I talk to understand why the choices offered to them are offensive (and downright impractical. October nights are cold!). Yet these smart girls still end up wearing skimpy costumes. When push comes to shove, being cool trumps listening to the voice that is critical of the costumes.
A lot of girls understand, and agree with, their parents’ concerns regarding costumes. But they are paralyzed by the constant need to be cool. They cannot go to the party dressed as an astronaut because they can’t risk looking dorky. Girls think they can’t look goofy, even for one day, because silly and cool just don’t mix, and being cool is important.
I always had trouble choosing a costume. I debated wearing a creative, unique costume versus wearing the same thing as everyone else. Past dilemmas include lunch lady vs. mouse, Rosie the Riveter vs. a celebrity. I am ashamed to say I never had the courage to wear a costume I really loved because my instincts, when it comes to costumes, and just about anything else, are rarely cool. Until this year, being cool seemed more important.
I am happy to say that this year, my friends and I have an amazingly un-cool costume; we’re dressing up as the monsters from Where the Wild Things Are. I’m sort of scared I’m going to look painfully silly or that no one will “get” it. Wearing a silly costume that’s probably more suited for a seven year old than a seventeen year old is a little nerve-wracking. And I know most people won’t think our costumes are cool. Giving up cool, even just for a day, is frightening. But it’s Halloween. Why not do something scary?
Join me this Halloween and release your inner dork! Even better, send me pictures of you and your friends in your silliest costumes. We won’t publish anything without a parent or guardian’s permission.
Thare’s not another simple way to have excellent mark than to make the book reports related to this post but it’s, as well, possible to buy the creative writing essay paper in the essays writing service.
Let’s be honest with ourselves. It’s nature, and by nature, I mean, of course, that, for some strange reason, on every October 31st, the stars and moon align at a specific angle, causing all the sorostitutes’ menstrual cycles here on Earth to abrubtly switch to that phase of the cycle when their hormones are raging. On this night only, the ovaries are practically begging (if they had a mouth) to meet a new friend. To satisfy this pressing instinct, a sorostitute will dress in a manner that has the maximum potential to attract fratdaddy’s most personal anatomical part. This getup, therefore, will surely consist of clothes that would more properly fit on a child friend of the late Michael Jackson than someone who is eligible to vote in a U.S. Presidential election. Consider the magnet, with the young lady being the South Pole and the fraternity gentlemen being the North Pole; as long as the charge emitted from the sorostitute’s costume is strong enough, the two are inevitably drawn together. Combine this with the playing of Miley Cyrus’s “(S)Party in the U.S.A”, and you have a bona fide path cleared out for two young lovers to either have beautiful offspring or an akward late-night trip to CVS to renew a certain someone’s Morning-After prescription.
Unfortunately for those of us of the non-fairer-sex variety, a.k.a. those equipped with the Y-Chromosome, this astrological alignment ends as soon as the calendar switches to November 1st, unless said girl is still partying into the night, in which case things go back to normal once the aforementioned person wakes up in the next morning.
Some may conclude that I fabricated this entire theory, but these are the facts, the completely unhyperbolic, unfabricated facts. And besides, who are you to question science?
St. Fraterick
Michigan State University
I have to admit I did choose a pretty sexy Halloween costume but it wasn’t really to have a cool costume, because no one actually saw my costume exept my best friend. It had a fishnet belly cover and short, short sleeves. So I guess I do agree with you. Alot of girls at my school have a HUGE compitition going about cool clothes.
Your Completely Wrong, I Have Many Friends Who Are Girls, They All Do It To Attract Male Attention! It Sickens Me When All You Girls Dress Like That, Because You Dont Care, You Look Like A Slut, Someone I Never Wanna Be With, You Wanna Look Silly Put On A Full Clown Outfit, Not 1/4 Of One. More Guys Will Respect You When You Don’t Look Like Trash!
Why are all of the first letters of your words capitalized? Also, some of your commas should be periods.
But you’re right, even though you’re ranting. I don’t respect women dressed scantily clad. I do, however, enjoy gawking at them without hesitation and full head turning as they move through my peripheral.
Plus, only trashy women dress that way. I like trashy women, they’re great eye candy. I just wouldn’t marry one.
I this this is a great post Lilly – thank you. It’s refreshing to know some girls don’t want to wear that garbage!
Though I also think there are many girls who do want to wear those costumes and I think that desire is a reflection of the pressure that girls are under to be “good girls” (not sluts) and yet given messages from everywhere imaginable that to be desirable you have to be sexy. Sexy halloween costumes are popular because they give girls (and women) caught in that trap to be “sexy” (one particular definition of sexy) without running the risk of being seen as slutty? It’s a chance to prove you’re hot (as defined by media culture) without the baggage of being labelled.
I hate those costumes and am not excusing them, but I seeing this messaging helps me to understand them.
Hi Veronica,
You are so right when you point out that girls are give permission to dress scandalously on Halloween. They are not only given the opportunity to show some skin, they are expected to yet they are criticized for doing so. I think this contradiction boils down to one underlying issue. Girls are expected to dress like sexual adults yet shamed for growing up to fast. I agree with you, it is important to understand the reasons behind a girl’s costume choice before judging her.
This is true. We want to be cool, and for some reason, society has taught us that we are cool when we show off our bodies. Men don’t get that as much.
I always feel like the display of skin is a step back from the women’s movement where we wanted to be looked at for our brains.
Hi everyone – Lilly and I are loving these comments. I just want you to know that Lilly, for some reason, has been unable to comment herself in reply — and she has really wanted to! She’ll hopefully be here soon. We’re working on the technical issue.
I do have to admit I did choose a pretty sexy outfit for Halloween. It wasn’t really to be cool though, because no one actually saw it accept for my best friend. I found it in a teens Halloween costume magazine. I guess I have to agree with you about the sexy outfit thing.
Allot of girls in my class have a HUGE thing about cool and sexy outfits.
We don’t celebrate Halloween in my house.
Why not do something scary on Halloween? Find this opportunity to explore what really scares you and go for it, and exorcise it!
We don’t really think about Shaggy or Daphne or Fred or Velma. Scooby is the reason we remember the show, the cartoon and the rides. He’s the one who brings the gang together.
One really cool person in my book was Jadie from Torey Hayden’s Ghost Girl (true story – some elements are scarier than any Halloween or Samhait). She said, “They won’t make me dress up in costumes. They won’t make me do stupid stuff I don’t want.” when Jeremiah was pressuring her to go to the school parade. So she stayed home for Halloween. She was also concerned about the things that would happen to her younger sisters.
Great blog entry. I agree that peer pressure to blend in and dress sexy is at the root of these racy costumes.
It’s sad that many young women are missing out on the fun of wearing a silly, creative, scary or innovative Halloween costume. The oversexualization of women in thee media is getting younger and younger–definitely a contributing factor.
I’m going dressed as Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz!
Lilly,
Love the post–very well done. I think that beyond being afraid to look dorky, it’s our standard of what makes us feel attractive that can be the most off-base. Someone else feel free to contradict this statement, but I feel fairly confident in saying that every girl wants to be validated in their sex appeal and nothing more every now and then. There is a certain amount of empowerment that can come from feeling “hot”. What I find disturbing is the very low-brow, one-size-fits-all interpretation of what makes a woman sexy that is marketed towards girls every Halloween. (Can’t you almost picture the creepy old man that designs these outfits?) There is nothing wrong with girls wanting to feel attractive–and we all deserve that–but we need to be smarter about what we represent.
True that, Emily…there is nothing wrong with feeling sexy. Agreed that we need to be smarter about what we represent, and that we need more authority around our own desire. Sexuality is commercialized and sold to girls…these messages objectify girls even as they claim to empower them. Sometimes I worry that all the talk about sexualizing girls leaves out the very important point that girls need to connect to their own desire. We shouldn’t throw the baby out with the bath water.
We do need to connect to our own desire.
Maggie Hamilton says this in her book What’s Happening to our Girls, which has lots of feedback from teenagers on what’s happening at the moment and will happen over the next few years.
They need to find what gives them genuine delight, is a representative quote in a section on intimacy.
Hey Emily, Lilly asked me to post this to you on her behalf as we try to figure out why she herself is unable to comment.
“Hi Emily,
First of all, thanks for the positive feedback! When I decided to write about Halloween costumes, I puzzled over the issue you are addressing. I think there are two reactions to the sexiness of costumes and I, like you (correct me if I am wrong), think that dressing in a sexy manner is bittersweet. On one hand, I completely understand the urge to dress in a
sexy costume and feel validated by one’s sex appeal. But I also agree with your disgust regarding the stilted “…interpretation of what makes a woman sexy..”
Sexy costumes seem like a sweet way for girls to embrace
their sexuality. But they are also bitter reminders that we rarely dress for ourselves and with sexuality there comes an audience. Halloween is a perfect time to explore a familiar debate. Is wearing sexy clothes empowering or exploitative? As for the creepy old man, I’m pretty sure I know him. Isn’t he the same guy who invented high heels, thongs, and
tweezers?
Errr… I never considered Rainbow Brite to be a particularly sexy character…